17 Things

Hey all.
 
Been working on a little half script/book story called "17 Things To Do Before I Die". I'm waivering on if it's actually a good idea, so i'd like some help. All I have is a rough outline of what I want the first chapter (or volume, whatever) to be. I'm gonna post it now, so if you could leave a comment or whatever, that'd be awesome.
 
The plot i'm working with is about Zack Morgan, a 17 year-old from Thunder Bay, ONT who becomes tired with his "pointless" life. He decides he is going to commit suicide, but before he does, he wants to go on a road trip to different places, doing different things that he wouldn't normally do (be it commit a robbery or drive his dad's car off a cliff) but knows that he can because at the end of it all he's going to kill himself anyways. This means he will not have to face the consequences of all his actions, and that the world will finally remember him for something.
 
So, here goes.
 
"17 Things To Do Before I Die"
 
      I live an overly complicated and complex life in which I do nothing. I know that probably sounds like some sort of impossible enigma, but it's true. I live in Thunder Bay, a place that has neither been good nor bad to me. It's just sort of been there. I don't do much other than school, work and sleep, and I suppose my personality goes to show that. I have a part-time job at the grocery store down the street, but that surprisingly does not fill the void of excitement that my life craves.
      I have a girlfriend, and I think that I love her. Well, at least I think I do. I mean, how am I suppose to know what love is? No one ever told me, and I haven't exactly been motivated to go out and experience it in my life. I mean, I think she loves me back, but I can never be too sure. I look at her sometimes, and all I get in return is a dead-cold stare that can't help but give me the distinct feeling she'd rather be staring at something else. Or someone else.
      Most days I sit at home and watch TV. Sometimes I go outside and throw a football around if i'm feeling particularly adventurous. I love football. It's gotten me through a lot of rough times, and it's always given me a reason to shut out the world around me. For better or worse, it's worked over the years.
     I always dreamt of making the NFL someday, but I know that's not realistic. I mean, i've been told by my dad and gym coach that i'm not good enough for my entire life, so that dream became more of a nightmare that I wanted to avoid thinking about. There's nothing harder than trying to surpress wanting something so badly when you know that it's not possible to acheive.
      The thing is, I have a lot of problems. A lot. Now, with the seemingly pointless life I lead, how the hell could I have any serious problems? Well, it's simple really... my mind. My mind is a fuel for good and evil, and a place that never rests. I do nothing, but that doesn't stop my mind from contnually torturing me with life's problems. I've been told my mind is a gift by my History teacher, Mr. Strata. I prefer to call it a curse. I mean, it can bring me joy, but at the same time, it brings a lot of agony. Sometimes, I just can't stop thinking, and so I think about how I can't stop thinking. Viscous cycle, rinse, wash, repeat.
      My parents don't really see that part of me though. They think i'm a perfectly normal 17 year old honour student. Everything in that last sentence was true, minus the word normal. I am not normal, and I know that. God, would I kill to be normal. I suppose that theory's going to be tested soon enough though, so i'll have to keep in mind that I said that.
      It's a shame, but i've had enough of this life. This hell. This nothingness. This curse. All I do is think, and think until I drive myself insane. Maybe that's already happened, i'm not exactly sure. It's just this constant thought with a void-filled uneventful life is not a good combination. I think about problems, think about war, think about friends, think about life, think about death. I'm slowly, internally shutting down, whether or not those around me are willing to admit it or not. It's not really worth it... it's not worth it to continue living when I do nothing. That's why I plan on changing that. People are going to know my name, and I will have made an impact. If all goes to plan, by the end of the week, I will have forever made a name for myself in this town, this province, this country, this world. Too bad I won't be here to enjoy it.
     Don't feel sorry for me... I have no one to blame but myself. I've had the chance to change, but I never took the right steps. My mind always got in the way, no matter how hard I tried to supress it. But it's gotten to the point that if I try to supress these thoughts anymore, my mind will commit self-murder. It will kill itself, and i'm not willing to let that happen. For once, i'm going to take control, and take charge in my life. For once, i'm going to step out into the world with a purpose, a plan, and action. I'm going to fill the empty void and i'm going to do it in style.
     Just let me call Brit.
 
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Alright, so thats it... not exactly the most exciting stuff, but it's needed to set the story up properly. So, if you've got anything to say about it please, please leave a comment or drop me an e-mail at dscarrow05@hotmail.com Thanks guys.
 
Later,
Dave